21 July 2008

I said goodbye to my friend and former colleague Tony Snow last week. A write-up of the funeral is here. Tony and I weren't particularly close, but we worked together for years, we shared a lot of laughs(we had the same goofy sense of humor), we both loved music, and he always sought me out for hugs. Even when he was at the White House and would stop by the office, he'd make a beeline to me (even if it was during a live show!). He'd joke that I "was the best hugger in the business." He reminded me a lot of my brother, which made me feel extra close to him.

Funerals are strange to begin with, but it was a especially weird to be at a service with some 2,000 people...including the President, who was sitting 15 feet away from me. The service was long and emotional and I half expected Bush to get up and leave at some point, sneaking away in a crowd of Secret Service agents. Every now and then I'd crane my neck to see if he was still there. He was. It was strange to be steps away from a huge picture of Tony with his joyful smile beaming back at me...right next to an urn containing his ashes. It was heartbreaking to see the wife and three kids Tony left behind. I lost my dad, but I was an adult. I still grieve for him and I could burst out crying at any moment thinking about it--but to be 7 or 8 and losing a parent must be devastating.

But I left the church feeling we'd given Tony a good send-off. That gave me comfort. And I took away some lessons on life that Tony gave all of us--through the eulogies of his brother and close friends. His message: Live Boldly. Cherish your family. Be a good friend. And have fun.

There were many emotional moments during the service, but I was particularly moved by a song sung by a choir that Tony's daughter performs in. It's called "Sing Me To Heaven." Tony was a master at words. And there were many words spoken during the funeral that made it clear how devastating a loss this is for everyone who knew him. But it was this song that broke me up the most.

Here are the words:

In my heart's sequestered chambers lie truths stripped of poets' gloss
Words alone are vain and vacant, and my heart is mute
In response to aching silence, memory summons half-heard voices
And my soul finds primal eloquence, and wraps me in song

If you would comfort me, sing me a lullaby
If you would win my heart, sing me a love song
If you would mourn me and bring me to God,
sing me a requiem, sing me to Heaven

Touch in me all love and passion, pain and pleasure
Touch in me grief and comfort, love and passion, pain and pleasure
Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem
Love me, comfort me, bring me to God

Sing me a love song, sing me to Heaven


NOTE: this picture of Tony captures him perfectly--he loved music and playing with his band "Beats Workin'." Tony said he'd rather the band be called "Nine Inch Nosehairs" since the bandmembers were all over 50. It still makes me laugh thinking about it.